2024 Distinguished Alumni

0:06It is with great pride and joy that we present the 2024 distinguished alumni award to doctor James Hernandez, class of 2016. Monsignor Shea, I I share your terror, but it's it's not because I lost my voice. It's because I have to follow doctor Scruffani and you, and I'm at the end of this ceremony. And I know that everybody's ready to go, so I'll try to be brief. My main talk is or my main points are about following the lord's will and trusting him and my experiences of that. When I was in high school and going through my conversion, I really liked this girl. And during that time in my life, I was on a really bad track. It's amazing how many times or how many mistakes you can make before you're 18.

1:09But I remember praying to the lord. Lord, please make this work out. This woman could really help me, but I remember something inside of me coming up. And it and it was praying, but your will be done. And that came from somewhere, and I don't know if it was from catechism or just hearing it in school, but it came from deep inside of me. And I knew that that was the best prayer. And I am so glad that I did not marry that woman. And that is not because she is a bad woman. She's actually a great woman, and I know her. But it's because I'm married to her, Emily Hernandez, and she is the best woman for me. She is the one that will help me to get to heaven. And let me tell you a little bit about that.

2:10Whenever I first met her and the excitement that I experienced, I really wanted it to work out way more than before. I really liked her, and she was everything that I was thinking that I needed. And I remember praying, lord, please make this work out, but your will be done. And that was my prayer along the relationship as we went along. And the lord was guiding me that whole time, and he was the one that was praying that prayer because I did not want to pray that prayer. I wanted to pray. Just make it work out. But as it went along, I became more and more sure that she was the one. I did not have a 100% certainty. It was more like 70%, maybe 65. But that felt like a good bet, so I took it. And that was the best bet that I have made in my entire life.

3:16And the reason I made that bet was because I knew that she loved the Lord and that was the most important thing. And I knew that then, but I know that in a different way now. I know that in a much deeper way now because we have been through a lot of fights and we have been through a lot of arguments and not seeing eye to eye. And she has to deal with my imperfections, which are many. And I have to deal with her imperfections, which are very few, which is not fair, but that's the way it goes. But I know it in a deeper way because I've seen her striving for the Lord. And each time that we fight, we go to him and come back, and it deepens our love. And because of all of those difficulties, our love has deepened, and this is the way that love goes.

4:04This is the way that the lord's gifts are, is that they're always deeper. There there's always more. It's not like a Christmas gift when you pray and it's like, lord, or you you ask your parents. You know? Like, come on. I really I really want this. I'm just realizing that, but I'm gonna let go. It's not like a Christmas gift where you where you want something and then you you get it, and then two weeks later, it's gone. The lord's gifts are always more than that. They're always deepening because that's the way he is. He's full of surprises. This this whole process also played out with whenever I was seeking to figure out what I what did I want to do with my life. I was in college. I changed my major five times.

4:53By the end of it, I knew that I wanted to help people, and I knew that I wanted to integrate it with my faith. And I found out about IPS, and I was excited. I was like, this is the way. This is what the lord wants of me. And so I prayed, lord, please let this work out. And I also prayed that your will be done, and I applied. And I didn't get in. And so I just wanna give you a tip. Whenever you go to an interview and they ask you your strengths and weaknesses, it is not time to confess your sins. Nevertheless, that was the best thing for me. It taught me how to face failure. It taught me how to face embarrassment. It taught me perseverance. I had to go back and take more psychology classes because that was not my major.

5:50I learned a lot from online classes. Back then, they had stuff online as well. But it was the best thing for me. And, also, what it did was it allowed me to marry my my wife. We got we got married during that year, so I didn't have to be away for that whole first year of graduate school. The Lord knows what he's doing. His timing is always right. This whole pattern has played out over and over in my life. Like they said, I have five kids and a six on the way. Five of those six kids were surprises. And most of the time, I was excited about the surprises. Sometimes it's like when somebody surprises you and you're like, oh, thank you. But, again, the Lord's gifts are always deeper. They're always more long lasting because he can see more than we can see.

6:59We cannot see past our nose or at least I can't. And that is why it's always better to lean on him. And that is what I have learned throughout this time. They also asked me to talk about what I'm doing. They already said what I'm doing, but I'll I'll I'll say it again. Starting my private practice, whenever I jumped and and and went in, it was after my postdoc. I jumped, went back to Louisiana. I knew someone over there. She helped me to to get started, and that was a great gift. But the first two months of my my practice, I didn't it took me a month and a half to get my license just because of the board stuff, which that's something that y'all should all think about is that that sometimes takes time.

7:49So I didn't have my license. I found out that we were having our fourth kid, and I didn't have clients. For for the first two months, I had two clients. And so I was scared out of my mind. But the lord provided the entire time because that's what he always does. So with that said, I I'd always wanted a a group practice. But the first five years of my practice, I was so focused on just trying to start up the practice, trying to be a father, coaching, and just engage with the work that it just didn't it it didn't come to my mind. But this time, the Lord did it a little different because he does things different. And and he sent someone my way. It was a call from Steubenville, and they asked to come on.

8:38And I said, sure. Well, that must be God's will. Then a week later, I got someone from LSU, and I said, well, it definitely must be God's will. And then as we went along, it was a great year. I learned a lot through all of that. And then last summer, I got two more people from over here from DMU, and I was like, okay. Well, this definitely is the Lord's will. And so we started a group. It was called Sacred Space Psychotherapy, which I feel is very fitting for our work because of the space that we provide people to come in and to look at their lives and to help them to find meaning in their life. And it has been a major blessing in my life. Okay. So I'm almost at the end here. Two two points.

9:26One, life is an adventure. I know that it seems that in my story that it was just you you could be thinking in your mind, well, that was just the way that it was supposed to work out. And in some ways, you're right. It was the way that it was supposed to work out, but it did not feel like that. At every fork in the road, I did not know what the right answer was. I did not know how it would work out. I did not know if I would make it. Oftentimes, it felt like I'm I'm not going to make it, and I'm sure that many of you graduates can relate with that. Many times of going through dissertation or going through finals, It feels like the end is near, and you don't know. Is it going to work out? But yet it did.

10:13And, also, I do wanna give a message of hope that there is a life after finals. There is a life after dissertation, and it is great. My last point. Be careful where you aim. Whenever you're striving for something, you're going to move in that direction. And if you're successful at it, you will get what you want. But you may not always want what you get. One of my favorite quotes is by Thomas Merton. Most men climb the ladder of success only to realize at the end of their life that their ladder is on the wrong wall. Do not put your ladder on the wrong wall. Put your hope in Christ. Trust in his will, and he will give you a life that is full of abundance and gifts, and that is the pearl of great price.

11:24Thank you.