Deacon Mike McGrady, MSP Interview

0:06Hello, everybody. Mike. Thank you so much for being here today and, talking for a couple minutes. As you know, I'm doctor Kwasi from program director in the master's psychology program at Divine Mercy. You are, marriage and family life director there in Colorado Springs and, student in the masters of psychology program at Divine Mercy. Do you wanna share a little bit things that have been helpful in the program? You're doing the marriage and family studies concentration and working in that setting, at the diocese and level. Would you share a little bit what you do and things of the program that have been helpful for you? Yeah. It's, I I've taken over this position, I moved into this position in December.

0:53So it's been about, seven, eight months. And, at the same time, I've started the the program through the the Divine Mercy University. And I found it very intriguing how these things have aligned in my life. And, it's a real blessing to be going to the Divine Mercy University and learning, about marriage and family life and, the the Catholic Christian mental model of a person. Really didn't understand or had never heard of that model before entering, Divine Mercy. But it's it's so enlightening, and it it's what's satisfying is to know that the field of psychology has this this, field this this meta model of the person that takes human dignity and that we're created in god's image as the core of all of, the the psychological schools, if you will, brings them together under that one, common core, element, which is so important as a Catholic, as a Catholic deacon, as someone who's trying to, help marriages flourish, help, engaged couples come together and, really embrace the sacrament of marriage.

2:09I I find it also very helpful whenever, couples come to me and maybe they're having struggles with their family, their children, with their relationship, could just delve in and say, look. We have this this data here, the the meta model of a person that that says that it's important to realize that we are created with that dignity and that we are created in, in the image of god. And so it's, it's been very, very fulfilling, and I'm very grateful to be part of the program. I'm really enjoying it. Wonderful. So you're working with couples, in in a small group setting, just with couples, but also organizing, marriage preparation, and other things. Right. In the marriage and family concentration, we have that philosophy course of Catholic Christian marriage and human sexuality, but then also systems theory and a and an intervention class.

3:05Yeah. Anything that comes to mind that's been that's been really helpful in my day to day work with families and couples. You know, the, in the systems theory class, it was really interesting to to learn and and and talk with a couple, learn and and do the coursework, and then, talk with a couple and just recognize some of the some of the keys that's going on in the in the family dynamic. And, you can, observe, a husband and a wife who are having some challenges, how the emotions come up, and, it it really hinders how they communicate. And so, it's a as just, sitting there and listening and trying to share with them, it's like, well, let's let's kinda remove some of this emotion. We don't you know, from the conversations so we can really get to the root cause of what's going on here.

4:01And so, it's been very helpful to to just see those different systems. Yeah. So And then when we spoke earlier, you mentioned you're doing some assessment with couples as well. Mhmm. Yeah. What what what do you like to do there? What's what do you find helpful? My wife and I are, we do the pre inventory, marriage or pre inventory survey, and we sit down with a couple after they complete the the questionnaire and and just delve into their their all the little aspects of their their relationship and how they communicate. We even talk a little bit about, you know, the family of origin and how that affects their, their their, how they see the world, how they see marriage, and their expectations.

4:48And so we can help peel that back a little bit and help them really facilitate how they communicate about those, touchy subjects with each other. And so it's a real blessing to be able to do that. You can recognize too that people have formed patterns. You know? And I've learned this, in one of the courses. They they learn patterns, and their their brain reacts a certain way to certain stimulation or certain scenarios. And so it's like their go to, and sometimes it's not always the most productive go to, way forward in a in a given situation. So we just help them explore that and communicate and be supportive of each other. Wow. That's fantastic. Yeah. And then the third course, I don't know if you've taken it already, the, you'll get certified as a in the prepare enrich assessment as well, which is part of that course just to have another tool.

5:42But it seems kinda that just having different tools to work effectively in a diocese or parish setting Mhmm. With couples and families and just kind of being a blessing and just having a larger toolbox, so to speak. Right. Exactly. Dig into. Yeah. It's good to know that, you know, that the course itself supports, focus and enrich in these different premarital inventory programs. And so, having that also, I could share that with the other, mentor couples out there saying, like, these are programs that are in place and, they're supported in the field of psychology, you know, to to bring forward and really help these couples grow and, as they prepare for marriage. Mhmm. You know, I love how you earlier mentioned too that kinda that holistic vision of the flourishing person.

6:40Yeah. I can see, right, that that perspective so unique when you have a couple who's really struggling and maybe they're not at their best. And and holding on to that goodness and creativeness Yes. Gives you that hopeful outlook that there is a pathway forward. Right? I know in my couple work as well when I work with couples that I love that hopeful perspective. And I think DMU is such a unique place with that just deep integration of theology and psychology for that richer vision of the person. So I love when pointed that out. Mhmm. So yeah. Wonderful. Anything else that comes to mind from the program that's been helpful for your work? Just just to follow-up on your your last comment when, you look at the the levels of vocation vocational levels.

7:28When, prior to the course, prior to the program, I I always just thought of vocation as like your vocational state, you know, married life, pretty soon. I think a lot of us, think in that context. But when we we we, focus on our vocational, the level, our vocation to goodness, our vocation to God, our vocation our our purpose, to be directed towards God. And in those three levels, I I've repeated this a lot, in spiritual direction and then to couples, is we have to have that relationship with God. It it draws us at vocation that first vocational level, us and God to be strong and through prayer and through, the sacraments. But then it goes to that next level, which is, the media family. And for a married couple, that image of, the relationship with God and that love that we share is the closest we can have outside of God.

8:31It's with our spouse and our family. So that's the the next level. So that's just as important. We just can't have one without the other. And when those two are flourishing and good and we're feeling purpose, that third level also comes into play, and that's our our goodness to the community and our call to, and I use, you know, practical examples like our work, our job, our job, our our parish, any kind of, like, social groups we're members of. When all three of those levels are in sync and and ordered towards good and God, that's when we probably feel our best. Mhmm. And so Yeah. We can look at that. And it always starts with the first one, but it branches out. And I I found that very intriguing, and I've used that, that that's that, the teaching, that understanding a lot when I'm talking with couples or just someone who's coming in and saying, ma'am, I I don't feel close to God.

9:33I don't feel close to my spouse, and my work is in in shambles. I say, well, let's go back, and let's just talk about how the all this, affects us as as as individuals, as children of god. So it's been great. I really enjoyed that. Great. Thank you so much for sharing that. And so glad the program has been a blessing, and I'm so glad you are a blessing to the couples and families in your diocese. So thank you so much for your time. Really appreciate having a chance to talk. Yes. Thank you, doctor Klaus. It's been great.